he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
