Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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