He is an equal opportunity slut.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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