Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
