apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
