Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize