I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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