stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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