Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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