We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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