and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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