I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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