i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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