I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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