so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
