The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
