I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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