My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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