You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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