how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
