Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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