What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
