I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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