I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
