you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
