my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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