I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
