I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize