Your dad touched me again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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