It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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