were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
