ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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