My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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