so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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