Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
