Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
