Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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