is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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