Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
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I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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