I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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