Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
