1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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