I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize