So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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