I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I love you. Go after that dick
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
