all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
