the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
