Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
