hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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