Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
