Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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