There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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