oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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