I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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