I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If that was your dad, he is hot
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
