I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
