drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
A+ Viking dick
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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