this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
