Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
