Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
