I accidentally had phone sex last night
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
