dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I have post one night stand depression
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